It was suggested to me by a close friend that I am losing myself in my illness. That is to say that I have begun to let it define me. I believe her statement is accurate. One of the reasons for the extended time lapse between blog posts is that it seems the only things I have to write about, while honest and very true, are also very depressing. So, I spent the last several weeks thinking about who I am besides "sick Jess." Here is some of what I came up with:
I think...
I have the best parents ever;
happiness is mostly self-induced;
it's possible to fall in love many times throughout one's life and that doing so prepares one for the ultimate "love" commitment;
all people should be treated equal, in every sense of the word;
ice cream is an excellent source of comfort;
pets increase the quality of one's life immeasurably and that my cat is the best cat ever (but Mr. Wilson is a close second);
all the decisions I've made over the last 31 years, right or wrong, good or bad, have made me who I am today and I would not change 99% of them;
too much.
I feel...
great love for my friends and family;
blessed to have food to eat, clothes (and shoes!) to wear, and a roof over my head;
like a diva when I wear high heels;
that laughing to the point of tears can be very healthy and a lot of fun;
guilty when I catch myself in a state of self-pity about my situation;
often overwhelmed.
I am...
thankful for the unconditional love and support I receive from my friends and family;
eager, but not necessarily easy, to please;
a big fan of post-it notes;
a Christian who happens to be struggling with my faith and with the ability to let God work in my life;
madly in love with my fiance and greatly looking forward to not only our wedding day but life as a married couple;
a good listener;
working on being a better communicator;
still mourning the loss of my grandparents--all four of the six that have gone to be with God;
obsessed with 311;
determined to be the best wife and mother I can be.
