It's All In Your Head

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I'd be a millionaire! Well, at least well into six figures. The ironic part is that it's true. It is all in my head--that's why they call it a HEAD-ache! Sometimes though, I wonder. Am I really having an aura right now or are my eyes just tired? Is the pain as debilitating as it seems or am I more functional than I think? Even after two plus years of never-ending headaches, I still ask myself these questions. Maybe I do so because I'm hoping that I'm wrong although deep inside I know I'm right.

Migraine headaches are an odd ailment to deal with. The pain they cause is indescribable, especially to those who have never had a headache, let alone a migraine. These headaches are not like cancer or MS or diabetes where the effects of the disease, or the treatment (or both) is obvious. Most of the time, other people cannot tell when I'm in the middle of a headache because I've become so good disguising it. Good enough to be semi-functional, anyway. My headaches are complex and always changing, which makes it very difficult to describe what I'm feeling to the doctors and specialists who are treating me. If they can't understand, how can I expect my friends and family to understand? How can I prove to them that it's not all in my head, that I'm not making it up? Some times even the doctors tell me that I'm over-reacting. But they are wrong. The pain is real. The blurred vision is real. The guilt and depression that come with being stuck in bed for days are very very real.